I go to a cemetery when I see nothing around me that reminds me of me  

I go to a cemetery to chew on rolling grass 

I go to a cemetery to drink peppered sun 

I go to a cemetery to smell the seasons of my childhood

spring - disintegrating, wet rimmed cardboard milk cartons

morning dew making for soggy socks on the first days of school

winter - tomato soup burning the flap behind my two front teeth

mouth pasted in saltine crackers 

nestle quik tin can

In the sleeping months i do not see much of anything 

Still 

i go to my cemetery

i go to my cemetery and it begins to dance

i go to my cemetery to sit by the pond 

i go to my cemetery to visit my goose friends 

early spring she fed and nestled 

early spring he was scanning for the ones that were crusin’ for a bruisin’

early spring they let me sit on a bench not 4 feet from her incubating nest 

early spring my two goose friends lost their eggs to a hungry traveler 

mid spring 5 more were born to make 7 

today I saw 7 on my side of the pond 

i walked further, towards the north to clear them

i sat down upon earth close to a male duck dozing to the call of a red winged blackbird and moving shade

his partner swam with their ducklings 

one eye on me until it is settled 

one eye on me until I am settled

i am still bottomed, swaddled by earth 

Still

today, I see little around me but more than the day before  

red eared slider ripples hot from the sound of my twig snapping steps

prehistoric snouts resurface

tiny, slick islands sprinkled throughout watercolor while two swim back towards pebbled edge to bathe in its sunlight 

stagnating moss, now a third of the ponds diameter plunk and gurgle with leaping bullfrogs 

trudging turtles traverse the underwater forest 

a cichlid beelines to the shore and freezes in motion 

Still 

one eye up on me 

today, fresh from dawn - flap, splish, klop 

orchestras of koi exploding to the surface 

they nuzzle their bodies in and out of moss pillow fibers 

eyes trying to catch up to ears, i chase the sounds of their fat bodies

flap, splish, klop

flap , splish, klop 

electric, raindrop ripples in their wake

i worry that this is not normal behavior 

the red winged blackbirds, crows and bullfrogs continue 

today, the 7 waddle north towards me as i’m amused by the lazy legs of a floating red ear 

today, the 7 feast on the grounds not 15 feet from mine 

today, two deer tiptoed through manicured grass towards the pond as a third dashed into a curtain of prairie grass

today, two deer stop when they see my eyes 

today, one deer was curious about me and the other weary 

today, the curious one nuzzled its snout in the dewy grass blades like a puppy and the weary one returned to eating its greens, both 10 feet opposite my 7 goose friends 

today, the 7 high-tailed it into the pond, slurping water and gliding their quills towards me 

the protector is curious 

side eye 

the 5 gray, dull and downy ones bookended by their parents

2 with the protector, 3 with the nester 

today, the protective one stopped his line directly in front of me

bottom on earth, legs splayed and arms holding my body upright

i am at attention  

i smile at their webbed feet rudder-ed and slacked through liquid sunshine 

i am smitten with their occasional upturned bottoms 

one gosling rolls on its side with a stretched leg, tending to its body 

today, the protector stopped paddling 

Still

not five feet from me in the water

dead stare

today, this one emerged from the water and waddled to my feet 

there are no more feet between mine and his

the downy ones and the nester followed behind

all single file In front of me

today, I held a breath  

today, I inflated not wanting a fight 

today, I softened my breath

today, he looked into my eyes

Still 

today, he walked past me grazing the grease of his feather against my forearm  

today, 6 followed 1 and settled on the grass not 7 feet from me 

today, my cemetery brought me to tears 

not for the dead but because nature said that my nature is good 

today, my cemetery reminded me that it is easy to be surrounded by others that understand my nature 

today, my cemetery made palpable the damage done when I try to fit into places that don’t care for my nature 

today, my cemetery made clear that it is easy to love and to trust my nature 

tomorrow, I will go to my cemetery and two deer will be 7 feet from me 

tomorrow one will come, not 5 feet from me and recognize my eyes again

tomorrow my 7 goose friends will follow me to my grass spot again

tomorrow, 5 gray and downy goslings and 2 adult Canadian geese will spend a half hour grazing about my feet 

tomorrow, none of these things will be concerned about my nature 

tomorrow, I will be given the gift of sitting with them 

tomorrow, I will be given the gift of witnessing their nature 

the day after tomorrow the 7 will not be there

the day after tomorrow I wonder if I will see them again

the day after tomorrow I smile for what I have been given and sit

Still

i go to a cemetery to escape busy for busy’s sake 

i go to a cemetery to better see source  

i go to a cemetery to see the gift of their nature when they are not concerned with mine

i go to a cemetery and their nature is given freely when I am settled in mine 

i go to a cemetery when I want the things around me to remind me of me